hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A+ Viking dick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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