It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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