Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
