I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
