I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
