wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
