Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
