i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
