But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
