there was a trapeze. enough said
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
