I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
