You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish you could order shots online.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
