I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize