So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize