Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
