so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
