I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize