Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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