He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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