Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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