So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate all girls vehemently.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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