I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
