I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
