making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
