Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
