I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
