I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
