What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
