Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
