Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The Olympian is in my bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Congratulations! We have a period
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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