I have demons in me.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
