She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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