Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
