Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
