No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
