I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
