Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize