Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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