apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize