hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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