easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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