...so i touched it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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