I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think your dad took our porno
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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