haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
