Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
