I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
