Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
