carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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