Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
