Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
