WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
