WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
