Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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