fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I sprained my soul last night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
