Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
