So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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