hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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