He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
