At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my being single is dangerous.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
